Difficult people, they are everywhere and chances are you have come across them or are bound to come across them. Some of the most common situations we would most likely bound to encounter difficult people – bosses or colleagues at workplace, rude waiter, rude drivers, or even friends and family members. How do we then prevent or stop them while maintaining our virtue? The truth is we can’t avoid from encountering difficult people in life and certainly can’t stop them from behaving that way, but we can manage how we respond to them or the situation.

This takes practice (practice makes perfect). Here are 3 simple steps to deal with the difficult people in some of the most common situations .

Step 1 : Be like a stone

“To be like the rock that the waves keep crashing over. It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it.”

― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Insult a stone, what response will you get?

When someone insults you or disrespects you with their words, the first step and probably the best thing to do is to provide no respond, be like a stone. Use that time of silence to your advantage such as these mental exercise :-

• Remain your cool by changing your body to change your mind: be aware of your breath, breathe slowly and deeply, impose on your body the demeanor of a calm person
• Know that insults or their disrespectful attitude towards us cannot do us harm. It is just other people’s limited perspective of us and the situation that does not define who we are. So, there is no need to waste our energy being upset and trying to defend ourselves or convince them otherwise.
• Empathise with them : if they are being rude, there might be something in their personal life that is bothering them, so don’t take it personally.

Step 2 : Assess the disrespectful remarks

Assess what was being said to you if it justifiable. For example, if your boss tells you that your report is full of mistakes rudely, instead of being offended by the insulting way he or she said it, focus the issue – the report.

If he or she is right that we may have made a mistake in the report, you can choose your respond respectfully and calmly. An example what you can say – “I am sorry for causing you to feel this way. I will take your feedback into account moving forward. However, I’d appreciate if it you can be more respectful when we’re working on these things, so we can both do our best work here as a team.”

If what he or she said has no truth or is not justifiable, ignore them or just acknowledge their opinion, and at the same time know that it is not a fact to not let it affect you negatively. Examples of how you can choose to respond :-

• If it is coming from a stranger, just ignore and walk away
• If it is coming from someone you will continue to be around them, try to seek to understand why they behave the way they do. Ask them if they’re going through something they need to talk about.

Step 3 : Call it out

This is probably the hardest to do and only use it if the rude behavior continues. There is no need for you to take ongoing insult from anyone and not allow yourself to be treated in a disrespectful way. Make sure to keep it polite and direct and remember that you cannot change them. Some helpful and polite examples :-

• “You know, maybe you’re right. Are you feeling okay?”
• “Is this something we have to agree on, now?”
• “What is your name again? (Their name), I didn’t catch what you said. Can you say that again?”
• “Do we need to agree on this, now?”
• “We can revisit this when you are more ready to talk”
• “I am sorry I don’t want to get your message wrongly but am I sensing disrespectful tone from you?”

Removing yourself from hostile or toxic situations is one of the fastest and surest ways to avoid unnecessary trouble and negativity in your life.

Every situation is different, and remember not to react but instead choose your respond wisely and calmly when dealing with difficult people. With practice of the above, you will start to learn to deal with these situation with better ease.

Have you encountered a difficult situation or person recently? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.