“The difference between successful people and really successful people, is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

-Warren Buffett

People think saying yes all the time (notice “all the time”) means yes to opening up greater opportunities. Sure, but always saying yes can more often than not leave you exhausted, stressed, time-poor, and wondering why you’ve been busy but not productive. To be highly productive or make our time counts, we need to first master our ability to prioritise and focus our attention on what matters to us most.

Here’s a simple 3-step formula and framework towards saying “no”:-

P.S.S. = Prevention > Straight up “No” > Suggestion

1. Prevent potential interruptions to free-up the need to say “no“

The key to managing interruptions is to know what they are and whether they’re necessary. Here are a few ways :-

• Set “Available” and “Unavailable” times – like wearing headphones in the office when doing deep work or setting your direct messaging (DM) status to “Busy.” This removes interruptions while avoiding hurt feelings.
• Limit the number of people you catch up with, and do it online or in a neutral meeting space. This way, you can easily excuse yourself after things are worked out.
• If possible, get clarity or ask objectives and results the organizer of the meeting if after. This helps not only we can determine if our presence is necessary, but also helps the organiser to re-evaluate the productivity and effectiveness of the meeting
• Turn off all notifications on your mobile and your computer so that you don’t get tempted to pause your work and check your emails. You can check them during one of your scheduled breaks or build time into your daily goals that allows you to check and respond to all emails.

2. Straight up “no”

Rule of thumb, if in your head it is a “maybe” or “yes, but”, then it is a say “no” and don’t procrastinate on decisions until you can make them or before saying “no” gets even harder if you wait on saying it. Some samples or examples you can try:-

• “I don’t have the capacity to take this on right now but I appreciate you thinking of me for this”
• “I currently don’t have the bandwidth for this
• “I already made plans.”
• “I have too much in my plate right now.”
• “If I have to give you a decision right now, I would have to decline.”
• “This is not a good time for me to do that.”
• “I have something I need to take care of at home”
• “I’m working against a very tight deadline on an important project right now. So, I’m sorry, but I can’t jump in and help this time.” 
• “I only have five minutes to talk about this right now.”

Tip : Always be thoughtful and say it kindly with empathetic. Try starting with “thank you for asking, but…” or “thank you for thinking of me for this, but…” or “I’d really love to, but…”. You get the point, which bring us to the next one.

3. Suggestion – you can always close by offering a suggestion or proposing an alternative

Most problems have multiple solutions. For example, “how about you (try this)…”, “I know who would be better for this…”

If you are someone that rarely says “no”, people might be surprised to hear the word pass your lips at first. “No” when used simply and with honesty, it’s a statement about your current situation and people will soon realise and will grow accustomed to the fact that you exercise your right to choose. After all, saying “no” saves time for you to say “yes” when you want to.

Hope this helps.

Xoxo